By Guest commentator C. Tomas Cruz
Simply put Celebrities are much better than us puny mortals. They act. They sing. They have lines of clothing and perfumes. I don’t do any of those things. So when I read blogs or watch “Extra” reporting on a Celebrity arrest I say “let them all go!” Guilt or innocence is irrelevant. They are stars. Bright, shiny, hanging above and looking down at us, mocking our lives. I mean seriously, who wouldn’t want Lindsay running us over or smashing into our pitiful Ford Escorts? It would be an honor to have the likes of her kind destroy my property. It’s like when a bird shits on you. It’s messy and it’s gross, but it’s divine intervention.
Celebrities are a special breed of humans created by God to enrich our lives with their antics and make us feel good when times get rough. Like when my cat “Doodles” overdosed on my Oxycotin prescription I tuned into “The Simple Life” with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and I witnessed with my own eyes the warmth and genuinenesses of Paris and Nicole, or as I call them PAN. Sometimes when I’m up at 4 in the morning making waffles I’ll have a conversation with my BFF’s.
“Oh my God, Paris, that is like so gross! Nicole, tell her
to stop being such a slut!”
My “real” friends aren’t as real as Celebrities. None of them are worthy enough to stamp out Lindsay’s cigarette or trade panties with Britney. So all you haters just back the freak off!
C. Tomas Cruz is currently unemployed and living with his folks in Boyle Heights
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